I’m Not Waiting Until I’m Skinny to Love Myself

Let’s be real for a minute.

I’m not always confident.

There are days when I look in the mirror and love what I see. Then there are days when I put on an outfit, look at myself from the side, and immediately start questioning everything.

My stomach.

My thighs.

My arms.

My face.

The way my clothes fit.

The picture I almost posted but deleted because I suddenly convinced myself that somebody was going to notice every insecurity I had already noticed.

And I know I’m not the only woman who does this.

Social media makes it so easy to compare.

We scroll past tiny waists, flat stomachs, perfect lighting, curated outfits, flawless skin and bodies that look like they were created specifically for Instagram.

Meanwhile, we’re standing in our bedroom trying on three different outfits wondering why we don’t look like the women on our feed.

But here’s what I’m learning:

I don’t have to hate my body just because I’m still working on it.

I can want to lose weight.

I can want to become stronger.

I can want my clothes to fit differently.

I can have health goals.

And STILL love myself through the process.

That’s the part I wish more women talked about.

You don’t have to wait until you reach your goal weight to take pictures.

You don’t have to wait until your stomach is flat to wear the outfit.

You don’t have to hide until you feel “good enough.”

And you definitely don’t need permission to feel beautiful.

I’m learning to stop making my body the enemy.

This body has been through a lot.

It has carried me through motherhood.

It has carried me through heartbreak.

It has carried me through stress, disappointment, growth, long days and moments when I wasn’t even sure how I was going to keep going.

And yet I’ve spent so much time criticizing it for not looking a certain way.

I’m done with that.

Does that mean I’ll never have insecurities again?

No.

I’m human.

There will probably always be something I want to improve. That’s okay.

But I’m refusing to make self-hatred part of my transformation.

I can work on myself without tearing myself down.

That’s the energy I’m carrying into this next chapter.

I’m going to take the picture.

I’m going to wear the dress.

I’m going to show up.

I’m going to take care of my health.

I’m going to move my body.

I’m going to eat better.

I’m going to celebrate my progress.

And I’m going to stop apologizing for what I look like while I’m becoming the woman I want to be.

Because my worth isn’t sitting at a number on a scale.

My femininity isn’t determined by my waist size.

My beauty doesn’t disappear when I gain a few pounds.

And my confidence doesn’t have to wait for my body to change.

This is the body I have today.

And today, I’m choosing to treat her with love.

Not because she’s perfect.

Because she’s mine.

And honestly?

That’s enough for me to start.

— Amara Rivers