Hey Girl

Coming Back to Christ at 32: Choosing Peace, Healing, and a Happier Me

Let’s have a little girl talk.

I’m 32 years old, and lately I’ve found myself looking at my life a little differently. Not necessarily because everything has fallen into place, but because I’m finally realizing that I don’t want to keep living the same cycles and calling them life.

I’m in a season of returning to Christ, rediscovering myself, and learning what it actually means to choose happiness.

And when I say returning to Christ, I don’t mean that I’ve suddenly become this perfect woman who wakes up every morning with everything figured out, reads her Bible without distractions, makes all the right decisions, and never has a bad day.

Girl, let’s be realistic. I’m still a work in progress.

But something in me has shifted. I want more of God. I want more peace. I want healthier relationships. I want to feel good about the woman I’m becoming. Most importantly, I want my life to reflect something different.

And I think that starts with being honest about the things I need to let go of.

Coming Back to Christ at 32

There is something humbling about finding your way back to God as an adult.

You start looking at certain situations differently. You begin questioning your habits, your relationships, your decisions, and even the things you’ve allowed yourself to tolerate.

For me, coming back to Christ isn’t about pretending I haven’t made mistakes. It’s about understanding that my past doesn’t have to dictate my future.

I’ve had seasons where I leaned more on people than I did on God. I’ve looked for reassurance in relationships, allowed certain situations to drain me emotionally, and sometimes found myself so caught up in what was happening around me that I wasn’t paying enough attention to what was happening within me.

But I’m learning that God isn’t asking me to have a perfect past before I come to Him.

He’s asking me to come.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

That scripture reminds me that I am not obligated to keep identifying with an older version of myself. I can grow. I can change. I can make different decisions. I can become a woman who moves differently because her heart is being renewed.

And honestly? That’s the journey I’m embracing.

Breaking Up With Toxic Relationships (Including the Ones I Have With Myself)

Let’s talk about relationships, because whew!

When I say toxic relationships, I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. I’m talking about the relationships that shape how we see ourselves, how we treat ourselves, and how we show up in everyday life.

I’m learning that not every relationship deserves unlimited access to me.

That includes relationships with people, relationships with food, relationships with family, and even the relationship I have with my own thoughts.

My Relationship With Food

One thing I’m beginning to recognize is that my relationship with food needs some attention.

For a long time, food has been something I’ve had to navigate while trying to figure out my body, my weight, and my overall health.

I’ve had moments of frustration when I’m trying to make better choices but don’t see the results I hoped for. I’ve had moments where I feel discouraged looking in the mirror or wondering why my body isn’t responding the way I want it to.

But I’m learning that I don’t want my entire relationship with food to revolve around punishment, guilt, restriction, or the number on a scale.

I want to nourish my body because I love it, not because I’m constantly disappointed in it.

I want to take care of myself without making every meal a battle.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NIV) reminds us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit and that we should honor God with our bodies.

I’m learning to approach that scripture with love rather than criticism.

My body deserves care at every stage. Not just when I reach a certain weight. Not just when my clothes fit a certain way. Right now.

My Relationship With My Parents

This one is a little more personal.

Family relationships can be complicated. Sometimes the people closest to us can be the very people we struggle to maintain healthy boundaries with.

I’m learning that loving my parents doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything, accept every comment, or continuously put myself in situations that disturb my peace.

I can love someone and still need space.

I can honor my parents while recognizing that I’m an adult woman who is allowed to make her own decisions.

And I can acknowledge that certain interactions hurt without feeling guilty for admitting it.

I’m also learning to be intentional about the kind of environment I create for my daughter. I want her to grow up understanding that love doesn’t have to come with constant criticism, emotional exhaustion, or walking on eggshells.

I want to break unhealthy cycles, not pass them down.

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV) encourages us to get rid of bitterness, rage, and anger and to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving toward one another.

For me, forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending something didn’t happen. It means not allowing resentment to become the place where I live.

And sometimes, healthy boundaries are part of protecting the peace God is teaching me to value.

My Relationship With Dating

Girl, dating has taught me a few things!

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that I cannot keep giving emotional access to people who are inconsistent with their intentions.

I’m tired of trying to understand mixed signals, wondering where I stand, or giving situations more attention than they deserve.

I’ve spent enough time trying to understand why someone changed, why someone stopped communicating, or why someone suddenly remembers my existence when I’ve finally decided to move on.

At 32, I’m learning that I don’t have to chase clarity from someone who is comfortable leaving me confused.

I want something healthy. Something intentional. Something that doesn’t leave me questioning my worth.

And until that comes along, I am perfectly okay with choosing myself.

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) says:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

That scripture hits differently when you’re learning to protect your emotional well-being.

I’m not closing my heart to love. I’m simply learning not to abandon myself in the process of looking for it.

I’m Learning That Happiness Is a Choice I Can Practice

This might be one of the biggest lessons of this season.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for everything to be perfect before I allow myself to be happy.

I don’t want to wait until I lose weight, find the perfect relationship, have more money, move into a different season of life, or figure out every family situation before I start enjoying the life I have.

I want to enjoy the little things.

I want to laugh more. Take pictures. Spend quality time with my daughter. Enjoy my home. Take care of my hair. Read my Bible. Go on little outings. Dress up just because. Celebrate the small wins.

I want to stop treating happiness like something I have to earn.

And I’m realizing that choosing happiness doesn’t mean ignoring difficult emotions. It means allowing myself to experience joy even while I’m still working through things.

Nehemiah 8:10 (NIV) says:

“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

I love this reminder because joy doesn’t have to depend on everything around me being perfect.

I can have things I’m still praying about and still find reasons to smile.

I can be healing and still have fun.

I can be growing and still enjoy being a woman in her thirties.

I can be in the middle of becoming and still celebrate who I am today.

I’m No Longer Interested in Living in Survival Mode

For a while, I think I became so accustomed to dealing with one thing after another that I forgot what it felt like to simply enjoy life.

There was always something to figure out, someone to understand, something to worry about, or some area of my life I felt needed fixing.

But I don’t want every chapter of my life to be about recovering from the last one.

I want to experience life outside of disappointment.

I want to make memories without feeling guilty for being happy.

I want to become more disciplined in my faith, more intentional with my time, and more protective of the energy I give to people and situations.

I want to be a better mother, a better friend, a healthier woman, and most importantly, a woman whose relationship with God isn’t dependent on whether life is going well.

Matthew 6:33 (NIV) says:

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

This is the reminder I want to carry into this next chapter.

Before I look for validation from people, I want to seek God.

Before I allow a relationship to determine my mood, I want to remember who I am in Christ.

Before I become overwhelmed by everything I haven’t accomplished, I want to appreciate what God has already brought me through.

I’m learning to make room for Him in the everyday parts of my life, not just when I need something.

A Note to the Girlies Who Are Starting Over

If you’re reading this and you’re somewhere in your late twenties, thirties, forties, or beyond, I want you to know that it’s okay to start again.

It’s okay to recognize that certain habits aren’t serving you anymore.

It’s okay to outgrow relationships.

It’s okay to establish boundaries with family.

It’s okay to change how you approach food, your body, dating, friendships, and even your relationship with yourself.

And it’s absolutely okay to find your way back to Christ.

You haven’t missed your opportunity to become the woman you’ve always wanted to be.

You don’t have to figure everything out overnight.

Start with your relationship with God. Start with one healthy decision. Start with one boundary. Start with one prayer. Start with choosing not to speak negatively about yourself today.

Little by little, those decisions add up.

I’m not writing this as someone who has mastered healing. I’m writing this as a woman who is finally becoming intentional about the life she wants to live.

At 32, I want a softer life, but I also want a stronger faith.

I want peace without constantly having to explain myself.

I want love without confusion.

I want discipline without self-punishment.

I want a healthy relationship with my body.

I want to be present for my daughter.

And I want God to be at the center of it all.

Here’s to the Woman I’m Becoming

If there’s one thing I’m taking into this new season, it’s this:

I refuse to believe that my best days are behind me.

I’m still growing. Still learning. Still praying. Still making mistakes. Still figuring out what works and what doesn’t.

But I’m also smiling more, appreciating more, and making a conscious effort to stop allowing yesterday’s disappointments to steal today’s joy.

I’m coming back to Christ, and I’m making room for a version of myself that isn’t built around heartbreak, criticism, unhealthy attachments, or constantly feeling like I’m not enough.

I’m choosing faith.

I’m choosing healing.

I’m choosing healthier relationships.

I’m choosing to take care of myself.

And most importantly, I’m choosing to be happy.

Not someday. Not when everything is perfect.

Now.

With love,

Me🩷

P.S. Girl, if you’re in a season of starting over too, just know that you are not behind. God can still do beautiful things with your life. Keep going.